A Day for Love

Valentine's Day, Galentine's Day, Single-Awareness Day whatever you call it, February 14th is a day to celebrate that special someone in your life. As someone who has been single for most of her life, I have often greeted the 14th of February with a mixture of sadness and anger and a "woe is me," "why doesn't anyone like me???" attitude. Many a Valentine's day have been spent with a healthy helping of chocolate a generous pour of vino.
For the longest time, I felt like my life wouldn't be complete without a boy in it and that I couldn't be completely happy when I was single. After all, every Disney princess ends up with her prince charming in the end, so I figured that's what happiness should look like.
My mother once told me that you should never expect someone else to complete you. You should be completely whole on your own. Other people should are there to make you a better person. (Side note: my mommy is the smartest person I know).
It wasn't until a few months ago that I really took what she said to heart and realized that my romantic relationships, kept me from seeing how unhappy I was with the way my life was going. That's when I decided that I was going to embrace the joys of being single and learn how to love myself.
I decided to learn how to skate board, join a wind ensemble, go back to school, eat more cupcakes and do things that make me happy. By building a life that is filled with joy, I finally found a place where I am content with being exactly where I am.
This February 14th, I'm celebrating the most special person in my life: ME!
In the words of Whitney Houston "learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all."

My Celebrity Best Friends

I have often said that if I could have two celebrity best friends, they would have to be Taylor Swift and Ke$ha. People are usually okay with Taylor Swift since she's so awesome, but I get a lot of shit for Ke$ha 'cause she kinda has a reputation for being trashy. While I do agree that she's a bit more of a wild child than Taylor is, I still think she's the greatest. So, here is a list of four celebrities that I would love to be friends with:

1. Taylor Swift
I could probably go on for days about how wonderful I think Taylor is. Admittedly, I refused to listen to her music for the longest time because I always said there were two kinds of music that I hated: emo-screamo and country music. Until about a year ago, the only Taylor Swift song I owned was "Teardrops on My Guitar" which was a relic of freshman year when I was heartbroken because the drummer I was in love with didn't like me back. Flash forward to a road trip to the Mojave Desert, my best friend made me listen to Taylor Swift and as much as I hated to admit it, I LOVED her music. It seriously felt like she was writing songs about my life. There were many road trips where I would be belting out "Dear John" and "The Story of Us" and sobbing because her words totally captured the frustration and heartbreak I was feeling.
Besides be a fabulous song writer, I think Taylor is such an awesome person. From interviews I've seen her do and the documentary on her Fearless tour she seems like such a down to earth person. Despite all the attention she's received she's still super modest and takes time to interact with her fans.

2. Ke$ha
Yes, she has a reputation for being a little bit sleazy, but we share a love for glitter that pretty much makes up for her trashiness. Plus, there are some pretty good life lessons hidden in her music. "Your Love is My Drug" is definitely a song about Jesus if you think about it. "Grow a Pear" talks about finding a man that is ballsy enough to be there for you and give you what you need. "Crazy Beautiful Life" talks about loving the life you have and going all out.

3. Jenna Marbles
Jenna Marbles is pretty much my hero. Her videos are pretty much the highlight of my Wednesdays. If you don't know who she is, youtube her right now, you're life will be 100% better with Jenna Marbles in it. Two valuable life skills I've learned from her are how to convince people you're really good looking and how to avoid talking to people you don't want to talk to. Besides watching her hilarity, I love listening to her rants and her opinions on current events. Someday, I would love to give her a hug and thank her for bringing so much humor to my life.

4. Gala Darling
If you don't know who Gala Darling is, check out her blog right now and her TEDx talk. She shares my obsession with sparkly shoes and cupcakes. Every Thursday, she posts "Things I Love Thursday" on her blog where she spotlights little things in her life that have made her smile during the week. I think its a wonderful thing to do 'cause I know I definitely don't appreciate the little things nearly enough.
My favorite thing about Gala is her campaign for radical self love. What I love about her is that she knows from personal experience what it's like to not love yourself which makes it really easy for her readers that struggle with self esteem issues to relate to her. Radical self love is all about changing your self image, getting rid of limiting beliefs and inviting more spontaneity and excitement into your life. 
You can also find Gala on xoJane.

Wisdom from Kreayshawn

If you've been listening to the radio lately you know the airwaves are chock full of catchy tunes that you bob your head to and maybe do a little car dance to as you're cruising down the highway (or stuck in traffic). Like most people, I usually don't listen too closely to the lyrics because: a. I like how catchy the song is and I know that if I knew what they were saying, the song would be ruined or b. I can't understand a word they're saying. A couple weeks ago, my best friend and I decided to take a closer look at the newest track from Kreayshawn, "Go Hard."  Under the catchy beat and some phrases whose meaning still elude us, there are a some good nuggets of wisdom. So here is my breakdown of "Go Hard": 

Hey bitch, what's up? 
You know I'd really like to do that 
But I don't have any fucking money 
Like, I don't have any fucking money! 
What Kreayshawn is saying: Be fiscally responsible! Be aware of how much money you have 
Even if your friends are doing something that sounds super awesome, don't spend money you don't have. 

Chorus: 
Hey bitch, do you really really wanna go hard? 
Go in the crib, steal your step father's credit card 
And take the car and do circles in the parking lot 
Scream at the top of my lungs like la la la 
La la la la la la la la la 
La la la la la la la la la 
We on the la la la la la We on the la la la la la 
What Kreayshawn is saying: Do you want to live life to it's fullest? Do things out of your comfort zone! If you stick with things that are safe and comfortable, you'll never get to feel that rush that comes from being alive and trying new things. Of course, that's assuming that you don't steal and do donuts in the parking lot on a regular basis...

Bitch, I see you working at the mall 
at Forever Twenty One, selling tanks and shawls
You wanna quit your job? You need a place to go? 
Girl, run your own show, but don't be on some hoe shit 
What Kreayshawn is saying: If you're frustrated with the way your life is going, change it! We are all in charge of our own lives. I know I've been stuck in a rut and I've been waiting for someone or something to tell me what to do to next. Each of us is capable of running our own show so we should dream big and go hard and not settle for "some hoe shit."

Bounce with something cute on, I kiss into a fog zone 
I'll be really off and searching for some water though 
What it do? Let it go, and go hard! 
Let me see you do it, go hard, like real hard! 
What Kreayshawn is saying: Stop moping around the house in your snuggie and bunny slippers! Nothing exciting will ever happen to you if you turn into a social hermit and sit around the house crying about how your life sucks. Do some retail therapy, get dolled up and get out of the house. When you're out, go big or go home! Ask that cute guy across the bar to dance, try a new drink, meet new people! 

Do it like, do it like, let me see you go hard, go hard! 
Girl, you need that new, bottles on chew 
I got gold chain flu, little lady on my side, show me how you ride out!
Be a good one, and I'll take you to my hideout! 
Pretty little bitch, dripping like some water though 
I'll be on that stroll, and coming for that low low 
What I did? let her go! She's back now 
She went real hard until she threw her back out! 
What Kreayshawn is saying: I'm actually not really sure what she's saying here. This was one of the verses that had tons of phrases that this girl from the 'burbs has never heard before. But what I got from this was that you always bounce with your girls, preferably ones that know how to have fun! You'll need them there to encourage you, talk about boys with and to take care of you when you do something silly. 

Silly girl, take your jacket off 
Get off the floor, go hard! 
Go hard, go hard, go hard, go hard, go hard! 
Do it like, do it like, do it like! 
Let me see you go hard, go hard, go hard, go hard! 
What Kreayshawn is saying: Sure life has knocked you down, but you can't stay on the floor forever. It's okay to feel sad and take some time to regroup, but once you allowed yourself to process the shit life has thrown your way, it's time to shrug off those insecurities and keep trying. 
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/k/kreayshawn/go+hard_21030988.html ] 
The take-home message: Don't let anything keep you down. You're the one in charge. You have this one life, make the most out of it.

There you have it! Life advice from Miss Kreayshawn.

Life After Graduation?

One thing the bugs me the most about graduating from college is that awkward period of time when you have absolutely no idea what you are doing with your life. If you asked me last September what I was doing after graduating from Cal Poly, I would have told you I was planning on attending graduate school in the fall. Fast forward to nine months later, I'm sitting in a black robe that used to be a plastic bottle with a flat piece of cardboard bobby pinned to my head, listening to each speaker drone on and on about how "this is our time" and "the world is ours."As inspirational as that is, what does that really mean, practically speaking? Sure we spent the last four or five years working for that piece of paper that says we know something about a certain subject, but what does that get us?
At the moment, I'm working as a receptionist at a pharmaceutical company and spend my days refilling paper, restocking food and listening to old men on the phone complaining how they "ain't getting no results" from using our products and proceed to describe to me how they are using the product to make sure they're doing it right (we make erectile disfunction drugs). On the plus side, I'm super good at answering phones now and dealing with super awkward situations, on the downside the scientist in me is getting really sad because I haven't been in a lab in over a week.
There's a line from Kappa Kappa Psi's Fraternity Hymn that has always made me feel better. It says: "I do not know how long 'twill be or what the future holds for me, but this I know, if I must die, I am a brother of KKPsi." While I was still in school, I always felt some sort of comfort that even though I don't know what life has in store there was one thing I knew for sure, I was a brother. Now that I'm an alumnus of not only the university, but the fraternity as well, I can't help feeling that I've lost a huge chunk of my identity.
I always dread the inevitable question "So, what are you up to after graduation?" I usually reply with something NASA related, but the truth of the matter is that I really don't know. Now that grad school isn't an option for this year, I have no idea what I want to do with my life. No one tells you how hard your 20's are. Up until now, there's always been a socially constructed plan that everyone pretty much sticks to, elementary school then high school then college, but after college, there is no obvious next step. The beauty of it is that I could do anything I wanted to now. I don't even have to do biology anymore, but at the same time, having the world as your oyster makes this awkward period so much harder because having so many options makes the decision even more difficult. In the past few months, I've contemplated pursuing careers as a flight attendant, chef, bartender, trophy wife and Globe Trekker host. I've also applied to every possible science related job in the San Luis Obispo area because, to be honest, my heart is still in SLO.

As the hymn says, I don't know what the future holds for me, but I'm betting that it's going to be something good.

Keep Calm, Eat Cupcakes

Upon returning to the bay area from Hawaii, Mary Beth and I continued our epic adventure and headed down to the Mojave Desert for the 2012 Spaceward Bound Expedition. We spent the week at the CSU's research station in Zzyzx, CA studying the desert crust by performing DNA Extraction, chlorophyll extraction and doing a density study. Though the science was fun, I think the best and hardest part of that week was coming to terms with how uncertain my life is going to be for the next few months.

Up to that point, it had been so easy to not have to think about the future because I was so busy traveling, but in the quiet of the desert, everything seemed to catch up to me. I came back from the desert questioning everything from my desire to continue pursuing a career as a research scientist to my confidence in myself as a person. 

In the past few weeks, I have had to take a long hard look at myself and start to be okay with the person I am. I realize now that there will always be someone who is smarter, prettier, happier and more experienced than me, but that doesn't mean that I should just throw in the towel. I can't even begin to convince other to believe in me if I don't believe in myself first.

Things are definitely looking up now. I started pursuing a few opportunities that will lead me to my next great adventure. I am still waiting to hear back from four more graduate schools, but in case that doesn't pan out, I've applied for the CFR position with KKPsi, three biotech jobs and I've enrolled in a bar tending school. Now all that's left to do is to pray on it and see where I am supposed to end up!

After dinner tonight, my little bro and I enjoyed a cupcake from Cold Stone where I noticed their promotional poster that read "Keep Calm and Eat Cupcakes."At the surface, it is simply a clever marketing gimmick, but the more I think about it, it's a pretty good attitude to have towards life. As terrible and overwhelming as life can feel sometimes, we are not given more than we can handle. There is a great plan that has been laid down for all of us and everything will work out in the end. In the mean time, we should savor the moment and enjoy the sweet things that have been put in our lives, like amazing brothers, hugs and kisses, and cupcakes.

Aloha!

Aloha from Hawaii!

Mary Beth and I have been enjoying our time away from our lives on the mainland and embracing the lovely culture of the island. We arrived in Honolulu last Wednesday and spent most of the day exploring the area around the hotel we are staying at in Waikiki. We are staying in the middle of the shopping district and we are a ten minute walk to the beach, so there is lots to see. We got up early yesterday to hit the waves. The water here is lovely and Waikiki has an amazing beginner's break. We took a surf lesson from Mike who had been teaching for about twenty years. We each caught at least seven waves in our first hour in the water and finished our lesson exhausted, but very happy.

me surfing!

Today, we took a trip up to the North Shore to check out the waves there and to get away from the mobs of tourists here in Waikiki. The beaches on the north shore are beautiful and the waves are intense! We didn't venture into the water here, but we got to see some amazing surfers ride the waves here.

The North Shore 

While we were out shopping yesterday, I discovered an artist local to the north shore of Oahu who creates these beautiful paintings and recently teamed up with Rip Curl to make some pretty awesome apparel. Her name is Heather Brown and be sure to check out her website and her blog.

We've also been meeting some pretty interesting people here. We met a pro surfer at the Rip Curl store named Edrick Baldwin and a hopeful singer-songwriter named Elijah who currently works at a Cheeseburger restaurant. There was also the two Japanese guys that came up to us on the beach tonight who run a cosmetics business in Japan and could not believe we were only 21 and 22 and that we really do work for NASA. 

Mary Beth and I have been spending the past few hours before bed playing our new ukeleles, which we are very excited about. They are quite possibly my new favorite instrument because it's small, easily portable and it is very difficult to make it sound bad. Tomorrow we will be taking free ukelele lessons from the music store in downtown Waikiki. The guy we talked to when we bought our ukeleles promised that by the end of the lesson, we would be able to play "Happy Birthday," "I'm Yours," and "Amazing Grace." We're hoping that by this time tomorrow, we will be ukelele masters.

"Surfer Girl" by Heather Brown

Go Bruins!

Last month, Alexis and I took a trip to UCLA to visit our favorite brothers of the Psi Chapter. After a three hour drive, a few wrong turns and a harrowing drive through LA, we finally arrived on campus. We got to see their pep band in action at a UCLA women's basketball game while sporting our new blue and gold shirts. 

My little bro and me at the game

UCLA Pep band

Later that night, we got to see the Beta Omicron candidiate class go through second degree and then hang out with the brothers of Psi and sisters of Epsilon Kappa at a "Decades" themed after party. I was rocking a poodle skirt I had from a half-time show I did in high-school and Alexis went as a hippie.

Overall, it was a great trip. I loved being able to meet new brothers and sisters that I haven't seen at district events as well as seeing old friends again. Going to these events and seeing how much love there is in the bonds between brothers and sisters makes me so proud to be part of an organization like Kappa Kappa Psi. I didn't think it was possible to feel so much love from people I have never met before, but every time I meet a new brother or sister I automatically feel this connection to them. It is almost like we become instant friends because we already share this great love for music and promoting band programs everywhere. Especially in the Western District, I think that we share a unique enthusiasm and connection to other chapters that is not found in any other district. The best are truly in the West! MLITB!